Offended-ness and Equality

Stoic philosopher Epictetus observed that “whenever you are offended, understand that you are complicit in taking offense.” He articulated this in various other forms, including “Another person will not hurt you without your cooperation; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.”

The wisdom - and peace and self confidence and emotional control - that Epictetus’s aphorism offers is wonderful and timeless. More timely is what it tells us about modern culture, where offense is increasingly deemed actionable by society’s enforcement mechanisms. Both formal, as in laws and enforcement, and informal, as in cultural ostracism for increasingly picayune transgressions, and even absent intent to offend.

At the root of this trend is an abandonment of the premise of equality. Our culture, in aspiration if not always in practice, is rooted in the premise that we are equal, that no individual is to be treated better than others, and that no individual is to be subordinate to others.

Instead of equality, as embodied by “equal treatment under the law,” we get preferential treatment based on certain identity markers. Some people are more entitled to be offended than others. Of course, since offense is in the eye of the beholder, that invariably gets weaponized, and those who hold “offended-ness” privilege are not quick to give it up.

They also conveniently forget a truism:

Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right. -- R. Gervais

Some may believe that preferential treatment for historically oppressed groups - or more accurately people who share demographic markers with people who were oppressed in the past - is a good path forward. That some cosmic scale gets balanced out by loading the other side for a while. The obvious, but rarely asked, question is - for how long? Does the scale ever get balanced? If it does, and when it does, does society cease that preferential treatment?

I repeat - those who hold privilege are not quick to give it up. Yes, that applies to the past as well as the present, but our moral compasses have proven far more likely to push back against those privilege holders when equality is the other (and better) option. More importantly, the people of today are not obligated to make atone for the behaviors of the people of previous generations, just as I am not obligated to make good on the present-day transgressions of someone who looks like me.